your tears wiped off mine...

~7:00 PM

everythin collapsed. again. even the black-coloured papers are goin against me. or shld i say its the thumbtacks? n why wont weicheng realise dat screamin at me doesnt help? he's nort supposed to be sittin dere anyway. i'm sure george, who was supposed to be sittin dere, will help pin the papers up instead of yellin at me. n we didnt get to do any design todae. i hate weicheng. i hate the black papers n thumbtacks. i hate my life. thanks a lot to cheryl n grace for lookin arnd for paint with me. but its no use. even the stupid paint shop closed when we got dere. i am so sorry for makin you walk arnd with me until so late yet endin up with nothin. its all cos of me. i am a jinx who brings bad luck.

todae had home econs practical. it was quite okae but i was quite tensed up accordin to camelia. thanks to her, mdm lim said our servin was best. but i sure fail the test onez. jus hope dat i dun brin bad luck to cam. i wonder if mummy will like the food i cooked.

i feel a strong urge to apply for ip to vjc nowadays. dunno why. i love dunman high yet i hate it too. wu lao shi asked me to go dhp. i told her dat i dun wan to wear the same uniform for 6 years. den she say the teachers will help us request for a new uniform. it all sounds so attractive. but i really want a change of environment. especially for the ppl arnd me. i jus realised dat i have changed so much. i hated changes in the past n i found it difficult to adapt. especially when i graduated from primary sch. now? i am like dyin to change sch. but i still misses my pri sch frens lots. n deres another factor to consider when i make a decision. big big factor. dats st john. our squad ish already the smallest le, if everyone goes for ip, wat will the squad become? n sir junyang will say dat we are givin up our squad. but i swear. if i realli decide to go for vip, it doesnt mean dat i give up the squad. the squad ish already part of me n it will always be. forever. till the moment i leave dis world.

| together on.
Thursday, April 28, 2005
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~4:00 PM

had routine trainin on fridae. took the homenursin test rite at the start. it was pretty okae. but after dat everythin went terribly wrong. we were told to change into our pt kit in 6 mins. but we exceeded the time limit n had to change back into our uniform. den exceeded again n changed into pt kit. we changed a total of 6 times. can you imagine dat. changing in n out of our full u 6 times. n we still didnt mangage to finish changing in the given time. den got pumped on the burning hot ground of the red brick area. n got screamed at by sir junyang. we were called crap n trash. instead of jokers. i dunno which is worse. anyway, we had to run with 2 bottles of 1.5 litres water each on our backs for pt. had to carry a total of 10 stretchers too. our arms would break if we were to continue any longer. alot of us cheered till our voice ran out but the instructors still said dat we didnt cheer. yupps. i wouldnt deny dat our morale dropped compared to the previous trainings. but how high could our morale get after bein called a bunch a crap n trash? but we will do betta for the next trainin since it ishh the last trainin the std 4s are havin with us.

went to tm with jan on sunday. took a neocard and some neoprintx. they were realli nice =) we went to the arcade and played a bit den she went to but the ingredients for my home econs practical on thurs. met a lot of ppl i noe on the way - wanting, kathleen, junting and elvina. so coincidental ritex. ^^

cried in sch yesterday. again. i noe i cry way too much but nobody would understand the stress i am goin thru rite now. i carnt absorb wat the teachers are sayin in class. n the teachers nowadays seriously carnt teach. especially for maths. i would way prefer mdm tay. n i also miss mr lee lots. he rawks compared to mr gan. i have got to worry abt all the tests, projects etc. without bothering abt third lang. den there's st john trainings for the upcoming intracomp too. not to mention the class deco. i didnt think dat being the chairperson would bring so much stress. i have already told mdm lim i wan to quit but she simply ignored me. i might have been able to cope with the co-operation of the class. but 2d simply wont listen to me. i noe i do have my faults too. n i am sorry for irritaing them. but if they are not happy cant they jus tell me. i cant read minds you noe. among the 5 weekdays, i dun even have 1 day to spare after sch for class deco. mon hav comp train, tues and thurs third lang, wed afternoon lessons n fri routine trainin. i realli feel like dying. i noe they prefer him to be the chairperson but its not as if i begged to be the chairperson can. the class ish not mine alone. the class deco ish for our class to look nice. 2d has not been winning any competitions nowadays n i jus wan to try my best to help us win the class deco. but i seriously wonder if we can even finish it. they are jus addin to my stress by not botherin to help.

didnt go sch todae. begged my mummy to let me have a break todae. she relented after i told her abt the stress i have been goin thru =)

| together on.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
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~3:00 PM

why are you always the one who's rite?

why carnt you jus think abt wat you have done?

why are you forevaa usin vulgar language when dere isnt a need for it?

for your frens' sake, can you jus watch your temper and reflect over what you have done before floodin your conversations with vulgarities?

i realli dun wish to lose a fren like you. but u have changed so much dat i carnt recognise you. i dun remember you as one who acts like a bitch.

| together on.
Saturday, April 16, 2005
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~2:00 PM

jus realised dat i'm nort the onli one who's realli realli stressed out...

to all my frenz who are sufferin from stress: jiayous kaes. i might nort understand wat you are goin thru. but i noe dat everythin will be solved somehow. dun ever give up worx. if you ever feel like breakin down, i will always be dere for you. last of all, lurve you guys forevaa (:

had routine trainin yesterdae. the uniform check was horrible. our ic -- zhiying -- had to pump with us for our mistakes. she pumped arnd 75 i think. her knee was almost bleeding lohx. all of us felt realli sorry,,, yupps, den it was home nursing lesson. learnt oral toilet - unconscious and dressing simple wounds. nothin much. den footdrill. learnt a new drill for opening and closing squad. quite fun. last of all was pt. our cheering was realli gd and sergeant carmen said dat if we maintain dat standard next week, we will be able to get our lance cpl rank back!!! i'm sure we can do it sho i wont bother changing the abt me part in the blog. hehes. anyway, for pt, the first set -- we had to run up the 1H stairs and when we reach 2H, run to the 2A stairs and up to 3A den to 3H until we reached the sec 4 wall-less area. and den finish 30 pumpings. all of dat in 5 mins. after dat, the seond set -- from fourth storey run down to the other end of third storey, den the other end of second storey and sho on. then reach the red brick area and did 30 crutches. mus be within 5 mins too. third set -- run up the same way to fourth storey and do 30 jumping jacks. 5 mins too. den last set -- run down the same way and do 30 half-squats. guess wat, our squad did everythin within the 5 mins time limit!!! the best part ish we ran faster and faster for the next sets and it ended up dat our worst timing was for the first set -- 4 mins 45 secs! std 2 squad rawks~ after the four sets, we did 1000 pumpings as a squad. broke our own record of 700 pumpings! std 2 squad rawks sho much!!! hehes.

after the pumpings had water break for 5 mins. den we had to divide into 3 grps and run do flutter legs then frog jumps. veri stupid... the sergeants said the last grp had to do forfeit. but in the end nobody had to do forfeit cos the last people of the three grps did everythin together. they stopped at the last part and jumped to the ending point together (: squad spirit.
lurve my squad more after each routine training :)

| together on.

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~5:30 PM

feel so tired. jus came back from sch.

todae supposed to fall in at 7.30 am in dark-coloured tee and pe shorts for recreational dae. i left home at 5.45 am, the earliest record ever. cos i didnt sleep for the whole nite and didnt get to oversleep. you might be thinkin' dat i have been up studying the whole nite considering that i have 4 tests next week. but i wasnt. guess wat. i was designing my blogskiin. i started at 1 am and ended at 5 am. 4 hours of designing for one blogskiin! but at least i quite satisfied with the results. nort bad rite (: oh yah, as i was saying, i left home early and managed to get onto bus 2 at 5.48 am with my mom who needed to go to bedok to buy some stuff. she gort down the bus before me. abt 10 stops later, i alighted and boarded bus 30. n i dozed off happily, thinkin' dat i could hav some rest before the whole dae of fun ahead. yupps, u gort it rite. i missed the stop. the bus went all the way to the expressway can... when i woke up, i was like, where in the world am i lohx. cos the sky still veri dark mahx. it was 6.48 am at dat time. anyway, when the bus finalli came to a bus-stop, i alighted and crossed the road to take bus 30 back to fort rd. i was almost late. jus made it in time. sho much for breakin' the record for going to sch early.

okie. now to recreational dae. we were supposed to have station games from 8 am - 10 am but halfway thru they extended the time and gave us one more hour. it was sho fun kae. we had to find the stations ourselves and try to complete as many as possible within the time given. the first station juliet found was the one which mdm pearl ning was in charge of. 15 chairs were put in a straight row and newpapers+water were placed on them. dat game needed two houses. sho juliet and delta played. each house supposed to stand at opposite ends and one member from each house had to sit on the chairs, starting from the one nearest to them. ishh like need to sit and go to the next chair and on and on and on. veri fast. then when you meet the member from the other house beside you, need to play scissors paper stone. the one who wins gets to continue the journey and the other team mus quickly send another member to sit on the chair to prevent the team to get to their end. then it will be scissors paper stone again. the house with most members at the other end wins. juliet won dat =) all our shorts chao wet de. i forgot which station we went to next. i'll jus talk abt the nicer ones. gort one ishh 9 members mus go to the third storey and throw 30 water bombs down for 3 people on the second storey to catch with their container. mus catch as many as possible. one of the container even broke. hehes. but we managed to catch 26 of them. actually we caught 29 de, but becos he always throw sho softly dat it didnt go behind the chair and so those 3 he threw dat dey managed to catch were forfeited. dey already told him to throw further lohx. humph. ap kia. also have one station ishh play zong ji mi ma with another house. we played with hotel. supposed to play 7 rounds to determine winner. but juliet won 4 rounds straight in a row sho dun hav to play anymore le. lols. win sho easily. maybe cos we veri kind, when we won in the first few rounds and could add some stuff inside the punishment cup, we only added honey. sho let us win the rest of the game :) gort one station veri disgustin. have to pass things [feather duster, banana, orange, tennis ball n tooth pick] thru one sleeve to the other sleeve. means have to go inside the shirt. n somemore have to go thru everybody in the house. but we managed to do it within the time limit. had 40 seconds left over in fact ^^ den gort one station ishh to form two straight rows. den the person at the starting mus scoop up flour with the spoon in the mouth and pass it to the next person. also with the spoon in the mouth. then the last person have to pour the flour into the cup on the table. we were given 6 mins to pour as much flour as possible. juliet onli filled half a cup. but heard dat it was quite good already.

yupps, dat's abt all of the station games. after the station games, we had a game of frisbee played sth like captain ball in house level. out of 3 games, juliet only won 1. but nvm, cos we did quite well in the station games. the points will be recorded n totalled up after june leisure camp. hope dat juliet will continue to be the best house like last year. we will do our best for intra-comp and leisure camp to earn more points. juliet rawks :)

| together on.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
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~4:25 PM

to her:

for a moment i thought u were referring to me.

i thought i was the one who hurt you.

thank goodness it's nort me.

i know i have nort been talking to you much.

jus gimme some time to think it over.

to think abt who i shld trust.

to him:

i carnt believe dat you can say dat kinda stuff after what you did.

act innocent; is dere even a need for dat?

maybe you think it's farni.

but i dun think so; it's an insult.

maybe you think i am over-reacting.

but i dun care; you have gone too far.

| together on.

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