your tears wiped off mine...

~5:22 PM

i've never in my life denied that i'm outdated, but it's only today that i realised i've been living in a world outside reality. ohwells. i'm really ignorant of all the stuff going around me. i managed to know some things today. most are others' gossips, thus i won't put it here. but there's one piece of information that i'm seriously ashamed to say that i just got to know it today.

WEILI IS GOING TO RGS, NOT NUS HIGH.

ohboy. i've always thought that she was going to NUS high -_-"' weili, i'm sorry!! lol. if not because i went to macs with weili and zuoqi today after school, even till weili's departure next year, i would still be imagining weili's life in NUS high. and i didn't ever know that..

ZUOQI IS AS CRAZY AS ME OVER SCV SERIAL DRAMAS!!!

*slaps own face* i was looking for people who have got the same passion for the dramas, but have thought that those efforts were in vain. ohboy. i was so blind!! geez. but zuoqi is leaving for TJC next year already.. ):

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

we followed our time-table today in school.

geography. ms tang had some feedback forms on her lessons for us to help fill up. i think that she's a really great teacher who has strong passion for educating. for lessons, she always research for information outside our textbooks and update us with newest facts. also, she seeks all sorts of ways to help improve her teaching despite her almost perfect skills already. in my opinion, the only flaw in ms tang is her monotonous voice.

literature. ms kheng let us play the pyramid game. we were divided into 6 groups, each group had to choose a category which contains 7 words. then, there will be a clue for the words.

eg. category: mr softee
clue: things that are soft

after that, all but one of the group members are to back-face the screen which shows the words. the one group member facing the screen is in charge of giving hints to let others guess the word. of course, if the word is "fisherman", the words "fish" and "man" are not allowed to be used.

there were 12 categories so we managed to play twice each. it was really fun (:

in my mind, if there's any at all, ms kheng has always been a boring teacher who has no feelings at all. however, she actually said that she really enjoyed teaching our class! ohman. then she went on to tell us our good points which she really appreciated. sigh. i only started to like ms kheng today, yet friday is the last day i'll see her if there's insufficient affinity to let us meet again next year :(

mathematics. mr tan explained about the magic squares. we played murderer while he was explaining, but he didn't mind. when told the game we were playing, he had a doubtful expression, suggesting that he had never heard of it before. haha.

murderer was fun!! we played the winking version before the hand-squeezing one. both girls and boys played! yao lu was reluctant to hold the boys' hands at first but relented after some persuasion. lol. when we bent down our heads with eyes closed to let victor and andy tap for the selection of the murderer and detective, some of our shoelaces got untied. if i'm not wrong, it should have been cephas. haha. it was damn funny. barely after a few minutes we tied our shoelaces, they were pulled untied again.

higher chinese. wu lao shi gave us holiday homework -_-"' hais. but she also gave a touching speech. i think she knows that many students don't like her. i'm neutral about her though. sometimes she is nice but sometimes she's unreasonable.

shucks. now i'm finding the teachers likeable as well.

for those 2d-ians who can't stand mdm lim, see this. on her list of things-to-do, there was one which states buy presents for 2d. if you all still have a heart, you should feel touched. she actually wrote that on her list of things-to-do, which shows that she makes an effort to remember to buy things for us!! i'm not sure if it's for the top scorers or whatever, but it's a fact that she does something for us isn't it?

i love dunman high teachers.

| together on.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
-----------------------------------

~5:12 PM

had a nice day with the talks while enjoying the air-con in the auditorium (:

streaming talk. the subject combinations for those in '0'-level aka SAP were pointed out. then came the ones for those in DHP. i don't really think it's much of a choice for DHP, since we only get to choose our humanity -- either geography or history --, whether we wanted triple sciences or double sciences, and our modular elective programme -- bicultural studies programme / humanities & arts modular electives / mathematics & sciences modular electives --.

i was hoping to study double humanties & double sciences. but apparantly, there's no such choice in DHP :(

yupps. the curriculum for integrated history and geography were described. ms devi, the speaker for history, prepared a whole lot of slides and always had a "want to know more about this? take up history" after a few mouthful of words. she even brought two DHP history students down to convince us that history is fun, not that they fulfilled the task well though. as for geography, mrs chin had barely a few slides, not even 5 if my memory is not failing me. and she ended her presentation with "we know that you all like geography".

ohboy. the teachers do know their students thoroughly well. but i'm an exception, i had decided to take up history since last year due to the C, the only one too, in geography. besides that, in my opinion, history really helps one think deeper. and well, i'm a thinker (: anyway, the effort ms devi put in didn't go down the drain. many are considering history because of the talk today.

hm. and i got the SAP scholarship form (: pretty glad and relieved. only 9 from our class got it. but the condition is to take up the bicultural studies (china studies put in a bilingual manner) as the elective, and i'm not that passionate to study about china. my uncle thought that it's useful to study about china though, considering the state of china.

then my uncle went on telling me about politics. how governments cover facts not in their favour. singapore is a fairly okay country, but of course, nothing is perfect. i'm not allowed to spout "rubbish" here, seeing that i don't have enough freedom of speech to say what i want to. sadness.

back to the subject combinations. i like the description of media programme under the humanities & arts modular electives. can learn photoshop and digital photography!! that would be useful if i take art elective programme next year. but i'm not allowed to, because of my third language. sigh. better stick to my languages.

there was also the prime talk. we get to design our uniform! and also logo for dhs's 50th anniversary (: dunman high is also having amazing race and extreme makeover for classrooms next year! ohman. thank goodness i chose DHP.

| together on.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
-----------------------------------

~4:43 PM

i don't like pre-examination days, too much homework.
i don't like examination period, too much stress.
i don't like post-examination week, too much time.

geez. honestly, i'm not one who is never contented with her lot. the boredom is just too much. sigh. but there's nothing that can be changed to improve the situation because homework are supposed to be given before the exams to help us do well, and i didn't ): ohwells. i didn't do my homework, if you were wondering.

the teachers organised mind sports olympiad as part of the post-examination activities. each class had to form a team of 11 members to participate in different games. participants had fun playing, onlookers like me didn't have fun simply watching, hence the grabbing of seats to start our own games.

finals of general knowledge quiz was held in the auditorium, then the performance put up by the health promotion board. only appreciated their effort and not their humour due to a lack of interest, but it was still nice anyway.

hm. and i got back my mathematics paper 1 which i gave mr tan in hope that i'll get a 0.5 mark which neither mr tan nor us understood the purpose of the deduction. wells. i didn't dare to dream of getting the mark, or the half a mark to be exact. yet, i earned 2 marks!! whoots! i finally understand why the majority of 2d insists that mr tan is nice!! he is nice (:

so, my new mathematics paper 1 mark is 23.5/50, thus the new overall of 56/100 for end-of-year. i only got a A2 for maths for the whole year when two-thirds of the class had A1s. no more triple science for me then. never mind, my passion has never been for the maths&sciences anyway.

i will aim to strive in the arts, meaning the languages and humanities. it should be relatively easier since i'm considerably bilingual in both languages, and i've already gotten a headstart by taking up japanese as my third language. yupps. i topped the class in history this year and earned an A2 for my geography, so it shouldn't be a problem (:
hm. but i don't think dhp offers both humanities eh? sigh. that would come later then.

another step i might be taking would be to apply for the SAP scholarship if i get the letter of invitation. many feel disgusted at the thought of taking china studies as an elective, but i think it's pretty interesting. however, my mind is not set yet because i'm not sure if the other electives suit me better. ohwells. why must the condition of getting the scholarship be choosing the china studies elective? the one and only elective will stick with us for 4 years and i want to make sure i would not regret my choice okay.

| together on.
Monday, October 24, 2005
-----------------------------------

~5:36 PM

janice rang me up to play bball with the 6J boys just now, but splurted a "you don't have to come" halfway through. guess i didn't watch what i said. ohwells. since there's zero value in my ez-link card, and she's not expecting me, i decided to stay home and blog.

hm. results are out. some smile in delight at their unexpectedly-good results, some heave sighs of relief at their scrape-through despite last-minute work, and others shed tears of disappointment. well, i have only experienced the middle one.

for those hypocritical kpos, here goes.

english paper 1. 24/30 for complaint letter and 20/30 for composition.
english paper 2. 5/10 for cloze passage, 14/20 for comprehension, 11/20 for summary.

hcl paper 1. 7/10 for letter and 25.5/35 for composition.
hcl paper 2. 85.5/110 overall. [19.5/25 for comprehension and 9/20 for summary]
hcl eoy total: 75.3%

mathematics. 54/100 overall. [21.5/50 for paper 1 and 32.5/50 for paper 2]

science. 64/100 overall. [18/25 for mcqs, 17/25 for biology, 18/25 for physics, 11/25 for chemistry]

geography. 66/80 = 82.5%

literature. 45/75 overall. [16/25 for poetry, 14/25 for merchant of venice, 15/25 for animal farm]

dnt. 44.5/50 overall. [24.5/25 for theory and 20/25 for drawing]

art. 83% overall. [66 for individual thumbnail sketch, 91 for individual painting, 93 for group final layout & overall presentation, 79 for mindmap]

japanese. unknown. when requested for our marks, mdm lim asked us to wait for our report books.

i'm happy with art, and only art.
i'm satisfied with geography and dnt.
i'm disappointed with english, hcl and science.
i'm terribly unhappy with mathematics and literature.

so there. some ppl cry when their marks are those others would die for. sickening!

i went completely numb when i got my maths paper back. i was void of feelings at that point of time, unable to cry despite wanting to. because i didn't put in effort and my guilt stopped my tears.

same for literature. i expected much better results and my tears didn't flow because i had put in my best and there was nothing else i could do.

contradictory eh?

ohwells. everything's done and over with. hence, you ppl better stop complaining over your marks in front of my face, or i would... smack you with whatever i have in my hands, or just with my bare hands if i have nothing!!

| together on.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
-----------------------------------

~12:43 PM

2D BOYS WON SOCCER INTERCLASS!! CHAMPIONS!!!

ohman. they really rawk. although the result is an expected one after winning their strongest opponent -2h- yesterday, the match today was still an exciting one. the guys won 3:0 against 2c today. and we cheered, jumped, laughed, whooshed, and went bonkers (:

i overslept this morning and instead of taking 2 buses as usual which will take around 1hr 30mins, i had to find an alternative to get there earlier. obviously, the best choice would be a taxi trip which takes 15mins, but i am left with not even 20 bucks for the month due to travelling in around 10 taxis for October. thus, i took bus 2 to tanah merah, then mrt to aljunied, and finally a taxi to sch.

i'm glad i didn't miss the match today, like i did yesterday. darn the sports leaders. the time written on the board was 3.45pm when the correct time was around 9am. i went to sch at around 3pm and waited in vain for 2 hours. blearghs. thank goodness they won yesterday's match, otherwise i would have missed the crying-together part. but still, not only precious time was wasted, but also the transport fees of 7 trips.

lalala~ 2d wonwonwon! 2d rawkrawkrawk! 2d besbestbest! 2d zui4zui4bang4! 2d wo3ai4ni3!

| together on.
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
-----------------------------------

~9:18 PM

i am facing a computer crisis now, having to pay my mommie's office a visit and make a snatch for the computer when my uncle makes a trip to the toilet. and the computer is so behind times that neither can i visit yun tong's blog nor tag at janice's board. ohman. and i have to sneak to my uncle's room and use his labtop while he's out.

after using my uncle's labtop, i realised that janice's blog has music which that shitty office computer can't project to my ears. same for the music at my blog. and now, i am stuck here blogging because both midis, and derrick weijian's tian kong, are so sweet and touching that i am tearing, not only because of the huge amounts of memories they bring to my mind, but also because of the exciting serial drama i am missing right now.

sigh. all the classes are really bonded at this time of the year, when they will be facing seperation soon. it's really heart-breaking, but there's nothing we can do. this is a phase everyone must face when growing up.

why why why? why must they torment us once every few years? i hate this. i have just started to love you all and we have to split up - - -

| together on.
Monday, October 17, 2005
-----------------------------------

~6:08 PM

had interclass today. boys' soccer won but girls' volleyball didn't. but still think the girls did really well (: and we showed loads of class spirit today! especially the nice nice boys who came over and cheer for the girls! hahas. their form of cheering was really special, because it includes dancing and singing! ohman. i'm gonna so bu she de 2d. hope that the boys get champion! go go jiayou!

ate lunch at kfc with grace and crapped loads. then off we went to the library, i took a short nap while grace read and read and read. lols. and grace insisted that maple isn't childish and ignorant. blearghs. i'm NEVER gonna play maple even if i am soon dying of boredom. i promise.

ohman. jiawen has put derrick weijian's tian kong on her blog. those super slow ppl who hasn't fall in love with derrick weijian yet, hurry off to jiawen's blog!

| together on.

-----------------------------------

~10:54 AM

two more weeks. and everything will come to a standstill.

must i say it? i don't want to say it if it's okay not to.

but what if i regret it some years down the road?

or maybe even right after the two weeks?

i'd better get it out of my chest now.

everyone in 2d`o5 is cute, nice & sweet. including the boys.

| together on.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
-----------------------------------

~6:19 PM

i tried to pretend that nothing happened. i would reply if you have started a conversation. but you didn't give a damn. and don't expect me to open my mouth first since i still seriously think that the one at fault here is not me.

forget it. i guess our friendship has reached an end.

or has it never ever started in the first place?

| together on.
Friday, October 14, 2005
-----------------------------------

~5:56 PM

the excess amount of time after the exams allows me to submit a third post for the day, so why not?

went to tampines mall and century square today to shop for presents for some people. burnt a big hole in my pocket but from my point of view, the smiles i see in return would be worth much more (:

after the shopping, i felt happiness. really, there's no second word for the feeling i had. i wonder if it's because of the end of exams or the thought of the smiles i would be seeing. whatever it is, i am in a really good mood today :)

hm. and i agreed readily when my dear mommie asked me to tutor my primary-3 brother. here's the conversation (translated version) between us:

mommie: it's not too much to ask you to tutor your brother right?
me: *smiles* of course not. and it would not be too much to ask for some fees eh?

hahas. i deem it a duty to coach my brother in his studies without any reward but i am left with almost nothing for my monthly allowance, and there's still half a month to go. and i have to plan for the outings with my buddies after the exams (:

mm. another kind deed today was helping my uncle to type the labels on the typewriter. i was reminded of the enthusiasm janice had when she saw the typewriter a few years ago. and i called her, hoping that her passion for the typewriter is still strong.. but nobody picked up the call ):

| together on.

-----------------------------------

~5:31 PM

here's a brief summary of my thoughts about the exam papers:

literature. for merchant of venice, i only revised the first few scenes - i was lucky that the question on merchant of venice was from the scene i studied. as for animal farm, i did not revise at all but i had some memory of what ms kheng discussed with us in class, so it was pretty fine too, just that i missed out some points. not that i would have the time to add in the points though. we only had 1hr 45mins to complete the 3 questions and most of us spent around 1hr on the first question - the one on unseen poem, there was plenty of stuff to write for that, and had to rush through the next two questions.

science. i spent most of my time on this subject other than geography. true, there was a few questions that are really baffling but compared to last year, i would say that this paper is pretty fine. although most of the ppl i know thought that science was most difficult.

mathematics. darn. my goosebumps can't help rising at the mention of this subject. paper 1 totally sucked - not enough time at all. we had more sufficient time for paper 2 but it was still difficult for me. because i didn't revise my maths at all. and throughout the whole year, i was half asleep during maths lessons. i can only pray that i'm blessed enough to pass with the number of blanks i left ):

higher chinese. studied really little for this too. for "tian2 xie3 han4 zi4", i have a few mistakes already, because that's dependent of what i have studied. one of them was a really simple question, i had the answer in my mind once i saw the question. but i thought that it can't be that easy, and racked my mind to think of some cheem words. i wrote down a word more cheem which i don't think is the correct answer. and when i checked with my friends.. yupps. it's the really simple answer. geez. i hate myself for thinking so complicated.

dnt. thanks to janice, i managed to revise quite a bit for this. so for the theory part, i am pretty confident of making no mistakes. i wouldn't dare to say the same for the drawing section because although i don't think i drew anything wrongly, my skill at drawing is too pathetic for me to have any comments.

| together on.

-----------------------------------

~4:40 PM

yao lu and me have telepathy (: here are two pieces of evidence that prove so:

1. short-term memory

we had dnt exam today. i slacked the entire yesterday and when i finally can't bear with my conscience's naggings at 9pm, i dragged my way to my room to search for my long-lost dnt textbook - only to remember that i left it in my locker, in sch. i was shocked out of my wits and racked my brains for different solutions. i could ask someone to scan the textbook and send to me, call up close friends and ask them to read the text while i copy it down... but my computer broke down and i'm sure my friends were studying dnt. i would be interupting their revision if i used the latter.

then janice's nice angelic face flew by in my head :) yupps. so i called up janice and explained my pathetic state. she finished her eoys already. she was really nice and said she would wait for me with her textbook at the staircase near her block. note that it was nearly 10pm - the sky was pitch-dark, not to mention the creepy atmosphere with hardly any soul in sight. when i reached there, janice looked damn frightened. but she still waited for me. janice, you are the kindest angel ever, i love you loads (:

after i had the book safe in my hands, i wanted to call yao lu and tell her about my stupidity. but i reckoned that she would be revising so i changed my mind. guess what. when i arrived in class this morning thinking that i must be the one and only dumbest person with such a short-term memory, i didn't even have time to think why the sudden change in yao lu's no-last-minute-studying attitude, since she was busy flipping through her dnt textbook, when she cried out that she forgot to bring her book home.

lols. strong bonding between us eh?

2. bus incident

after dnt exam today, our class was going to play volleyball together. yao lu and camelia had to go for a guides' talk and yao lu asked me to go play first, they would look for me after the talk. so i went to change into my pe attire and searched for them. after walking round the sch a few times in vain, i went back to class. kathleen and weili said that they thought i went home already, so they should be on their way home.

i ran to the bus stop outside the sch to see if i was lucky enough to see yao lu there [camelia walks home]. ohwells. bus 158 just left the stop and i was about to turn back when the bus stopped at the traffic light. i tried to see if yao lu was on the bus -- and there she was, at the other side of the bus! thank goodness my st john junior, who was also on the bus, saw me. after some direction-giving, she tapped yao lu to get her attention for me. but just as yao lu saw me, the light turned green and the bus drove off!!

my first instinct then was to run to the next bus stop which was like, 10-minutes-walk away. as i ran, i could only pray hard that yao lu had the same mindset and would alight. well. she did (: we ran towards each other like the lovers you see in serial drama. hahas. i'm not a lesbian la, but the scenario seriously reminds me of romance dramas.

wonderful telepathy between us, agree?

| together on.

-----------------------------------

~9:03 AM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YAO LU (:

get ready to receive your present from me on monday!!

took geography paper yesterday and hcl paper 1 on thursday. hcl was okay, but i made a mistake in the format of letter writing ): geography multiple choice and structured questions quite easy, but mapwork was totally sucky. was hoping to get a few correct by guessing. but luck was not on my side.

met simphoni after sch yesterday and we went to kfc for lunch. had a nice chat abt everything. she could only admire boys on the bus and mrt since she's from a girls' sch. and she had a lot to say abt them. lols.

i still miss my primary sch friends loads.

one more week to the end of exams. and another few more to seperation.

what else can we do other than watching time fly by and stare helplessly at it? ohman. why couldn't i just keep my promise to myself at the start of last year? i am a failure. a hopeless failure.

| together on.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
-----------------------------------

~12:12 PM

thanks to our wonderful principal mr. sng, today has been made a sch holiday for dhs students as a reward for dunman high sch having earned the school excellence award :)) actually the real purpose in having this holiday is to give us the time for last minute study -- this shows how well mr. sng understands us (:

i have seen the news of student bloggers getting suspended from sch because of offensive remarks about their sch in their blogs. i am not sure about the things mentioned in their blogs so it's better for me not to make any comments. but i would really like to know if schools nowadays track down the blogs of their students to spot check for remarks that would spoil their reputation.. if this is the case, how are we supposed to blog our thoughts truthfully without worries? not that i have any negative things to say about dhs though. i think it's the best sch ever, especially with our wonderful principal :))

| together on.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
-----------------------------------

~4:28 PM

the music assessment is finally over. don't have to fret any longer about what mistakes i might make since the milk has already been spilt.

really moody these few days, i have been staring into space hoping that my soul would drift away into the clouds and forget all my troubles. but i'd better not try that in a public place if there is a next time.

the exams are seriously getting on my nerves. in addition, the release of the ca2 marks at this time is really inappropriate. don't they know that the impact of disappointment can be so big that one's confidence gets beaten by it? i tried to spur myself on to work even harder for the eoys but to no avail. others mug harder in order to make up for their previous marks but i only get the spirit to mug when i have been getting good grades. i need somebody to boost my confidence!!

didn't feel particularly good today but my mood changed for the better when wu lao shi returned us our hcl compo :) heh. i always turn positive when my hcl assignments are returned. but the problem is, wu lao shi always take a long time to return them :( anyway, i bought a handbag for my mom and sweets for my little brother on the way home. and i felt great after that. much more smiley (:

advise for today:

when you feel down, try doing something nice. you'll feel much better afterwards :))

| together on.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
-----------------------------------

~5:09 PM

saw that freak again today. after sch when we were abt to hand in our art.

i didn't want to mention any bit of that horrible incident in my blog. to protect my friend's interest. well, i still don't want to mention abt it now. but i shall talk abt that freak's freakingly freaky freak-behaviour. not that it affected me a teeny weeny bit. just that it's too idiotic to my preference and i find it a disgrace to be in the same sch as such an idiotic freak.

well. all this started becos you haven't enough discipline and self-control. we have been told a million times not to cheat. even when it's not for your own benefit. oh. maybe it is. who knows why you "helped" them? so that they will gain short-term by getting high marks this time? or have you a long-term ulterior motive to land them into trouble when the eoys come? this only you know.

hm. and i did what i ought to do. although many told me i shouldn't have done it since i would have gotten into trouble with you, till now, i still think that it wasn't wrong. well. it was MORALLY correct. i guess you don't have enough moral values to think that what i did was correct. of course, since you don't have that minimal moral values a human being should have, i guess it's not surprising to see your despicable behaviour now. verbal abuse and rolling of eyes? all these erased the regret i had for doing what i did upon thinking that you just wanted to help your friends.

1. your verbal abuse
for god's sake, if you wish to hurl verbal abuse at me, check up your dictionary for some better vocabulary! the one you used not only had no basis, but is also with little or perhaps no standard at all! i seriously wonder how you debate with that standard of vocabulary in your head.

2. rolling of eyes
well. you are already white enough, you don't have to show off the white in your eyes to me! i didn't even noticed you walking by until you rolled your eyes, that was when i realised some movement and started to look around to see what was moving. but still, i didn't notice you cos you were camouflaged by the white in your eyes. thank goodness your eye ball rolled back and i finally realised that i was looking at you.

you were not the only one who was involved in the incident but you are the only one i mention now. the reason is obvious but i guess i'd better state it seeing that you might not be able to infer from the amt of knowledge you have.

as i have already said, i don't want to implicate my friend so i didn't want to mention any detail of that incident in my blog. but. the fact that you can't understand that you were wrong (which i can't really blame you for with that amount of moral values in you) despite the talks given by the teachers and even wanted to drag your friends down by asking them to hurl verbal abuse along with you gave me an urge to report you once again. however, for the sake of you, i decided that it would be better not to. since you won't be that lucky to get off without a black mark on your record again. but. there are really serious problems with your discipline so i hoped that by putting all these on my blog, you might one day be able to read these and be enlightened by my words. i will try my very best not to be hurt by the fact that somebody with a low standard of character actually reads my blog :))

i really wonder where did your tears come from if they weren't of regret. regret of having done the wrong thing. were they of sympathy for yourself or were they for show?

may you one day finally realise that you were wrong.

| together on.
Monday, October 03, 2005
-----------------------------------