your tears wiped off mine...

~7:36 PM

here to continue blogging past holiday happenings!

7th November

watched skyhigh with simphoni at tampines mall.

it is a fabulous movie (: sweet and meaningful, it shows how teenagers with supernatural powers work together to fight against the bad guys in a supernatural school.

simphoni demanded i sign up as a member at the simei comics rental shop so that i don't have to use her id to rent comics anymore. i was reluctant because it cost $9 for a year, which would allow me to rent 7 comics. but simphoni said she wouldn't let me use her id no matter what. actually i don't need her permission to rent comics using her id since i have her id number. but being the honest me, i decided to sign up.

in the end, it turned out that the shop was having a promotion and the membership fee of $9 was waived! so i got to be a member for free!

for every 10 comics we rent at one go, we can rent 1 for free and for every 20, we get 2 for free. so i carried 11 comics home at $12 (:

10th November

jnco team meeting.

ohyah. i forgot to mention that our squad has gotten our jnco groupings already!

S - manching, weiyan, natalie, cheryl, tiffany, jocelyn, huaxin, yahui

K - hongsheng, weisong, wanting, mianmian, qingyi, xinyi, yujia, huifen

Y - samuel, shunjie, daphne, elvina, zhiying, adelyn, huiwen, biqi

group S's advisors: mam yanqi and sir jianli

group K's advisors: sir weiquan and mam sheryl

group Y's advisors: sir cheehoe and mam yeekian

yupp. as i was saying, there was team meeting for group Y. samuel didn't receive the message passed down somehow and thus didn't come. shunjie was sick. mam yeekian dunno go where. that leaves the girls in our group plus sir cheehoe.

we set ground rules (obviously asked by sir cheehoe), noted down important dates, copied down the jnco camp committee names, etc. and we decided that our group colour was to be yellow and group name:

YouthInc.

there are two pronunciations to that. hope you clever people get it!

sir cheehoe compared our jnco camp to skyhigh, explanation being we will discover the potential hidden in us after the camp just like how the boy discovered his superpowers after going to skyhigh. hm. this is the other moral of the movie i didn't realise.

started to think jnco camp more positively (:

11th November

appeal results posted on edulearn website. yaolu and i succeeded in our appeal.

3B`o6

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

to be continued...

| together on.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
-----------------------------------

~3:08 PM

feeling much much smiley now. thanks to all who tagged to help cheer me up (:

i shall now blog briefly about past holiday happenings. sorry for the extreme outdatedness!

31st October

went to tampines interchange for a new handphone charger. then to century square to buy comics!

nothing much happened on this day except that i sort of made up with fish poh (:

i was going up the escalator to the second level of tampines mall when i saw fish going down the escalator to the first level.

we had not been on talking terms for about 2 years already and of course, we did not see each other at all during that period of time too. around 2 months ago, i heard from janice that fish changed her hairstyle and i wanted to see how she looked like so i went to pasir ris mrt station at the time fish would be there. but i was late for 1 minute and fish left on the train already ): i would just say that there wasn't affinity between us.

anyway, when i saw her, i was really shocked and being the normal shocked me, my eyes widened as i stared at her. fish saw me too and her reaction was similar to mine. haha. so we were like, glaring at each other.

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i don't know what possessed me but i said "hello".

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after i reached the second level, fish was still on the escalator moving down.

as i was remorsing myself for having talked to fish first, i noticed she was coming after me.

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yupp. so i slowed down my pace to let her catch up with me. when she was beside me already, i started the conversation by being honest about me feeling bad for having said "hello" to her first. lol. throughout the whole time, she was pretty silent except giving short replies to me. i don't feel as bad now for being the one who started the conversation because after all, she came after me (:

1st November

third aunt brought me and my brother to east coast park to cycle. pig brother lost his way and i cycled for around 10 km looking for him. he was found only after an hour later.

went to pizza hut for lunch.

tse an called me and said that there would be a 6k outing on the following thursday, 3rd november. he asked me to help check out the places where we can eat at tampines mall. the nice me agreed to help (:

2nd November

spent the whole day checking out restaurants at tampines mall plus century square.

in the end, tse an said the outing was cancelled due to poor response ):

3rd November

mom brought me and brother out. had lunch at jack's place which cost $80+!

then went to plaza singapura to buy digital camera. got a 5.0 megapixels kodak camera (:

4th November

2d class outing at orchard.

only 8 people turned up - donghang, cephas, alson, quanyi, jiawen, kathleen, meiyun and me.

there were guides' and student counsellors' activities in school that day, i suppose that explains the pathetic amount of people who turned up.

meiyun and i were on the same mrt. we were both late by half an hour. in the end, we turned out to be the earliest. followed by donghang.

dumb meiyun called cephas and she said that cephas forgot to bring his handphone out because it was his mother who answered. turned out that meiyun called cephas's house. lol.

we waited half an hour for kathleen and jiawen. then five of us went for lunch first. another half an hour later, cephas, alson and quanyi arrrived. wanted to watch skyhigh but the time slots weren't suitable. so we went to arcade!

after that, cephas and donghang went back while the rest of us walked around.

quanyi, meiyun, jiawen, me

quanyi and his nerdy smile

jiawen and her nerdy smile

meiyun, jiawen, kathleen, me

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kathleen and meiyun

quanyi and alson

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quanyi with his rifle and poster outside 7-eleven

cutesy jiawen and her drink

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

results of subject combination was out.

i got my choice of bio-chem plus history. would be in class 3J with yao lu and sherlyn next year. but that class only had 14 people ):

5th November

met yao lu at tampines interchange because she wanted to borrow white canvas shoes for her guides camp. we decided to appeal for triple science plus history because we would be in 3B then, where there were lots of 2d people.

both of us tried to persuade sherlyn, but she really liked the combination of bio-chem plus history.

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

shall continue blogging about the past holiday happenings sometime later.

| together on.
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
-----------------------------------

~5:15 PM

i feel like jumping down from the second storey. but it's such a great sin isn't it? not only will i not die, my poor mom would have to work even harder to pay my medical bills.

don't ask me what is the cause of my depression, i don't have the answer either.

is it the recent separation? is it the jnco camp plus trainings? is it the holiday homework which i haven't even touched? is it the japanese language proficiency test on 4th december? is it the SAP scholarship interview on 8th december? is it the unhappiness with my physical self? is it the loneliness i face? is it missing derrick weijian?

i'm a really horrible person who have negative thoughts despite being so blessed.

i shall blog about my holiday happenings when i feel better, but i doubt that time will come soon.

i need a counsellor.

| together on.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
-----------------------------------

~6:08 PM

the outdated one is finally blogging about the last day of school! sorry to all who was waiting.

i did came online that day, after the class outing. it was around 1am. i tried to get my hands onto the keyboard and pour my heartfelt words out, but my sore eyes started tearing again after reading other 2dians' blogs. anyway, here comes.

some people say that the last day of school term felt like any other and they only sensed the upcoming parting when it was cleaning time. however, for me, the morning was an exceptional one which had a tinge of sadness to it. firstly, the number of morning announcements jumped from the usual average eight to that day's nineteen. this already gave us the signal that school was ending since the teachers are busy meeting up students for unfinished tasks.

then, mr sng went up and announced the retirement of three teachers. one of them was mr kiw, our never-slacking discipline master. plenty of students, mostly the superficial secondary ones, cheered for joy at the announcement. no, they were not glad that mr kiw finally gets to enjoy a break from the tiring educating work, but rejoicing that they need not count the number of hairs on mr kiw's mole while being nagged at for their tucked-out shirt, their over-eyebrow fringe, nor their socks which they claim to be perfectly he2 ge2 but deemed non-visible by mr kiw. ohwells. mr sng then read out the tributes for the teachers. in english for the other two teachers and in mandarin for mr kiw. i have heard news about mr kiw giving up the chance to be a principal who has to switch schools once every half decade because of reluctance to leave dunman high. but never did i expect that mr kiw started his teaching career here, and of course ending it here, amounting to a total 38 years in dunman high! mr sng continued his speech with how graduates from dunman high would forget the principal and form teachers, but would never fail to remember mr kiw. upon hearing the students' laughter, mr sng continued that we would be terribly wrong if we thought that was due to mr kiw always lying in wait to catch students with improper attire. instead, they remember mr kiw because of the respect they have for him. and he went on with letters mr kiw received from students.

one letter described how the writer finally understood the reason behind the seniors' respect for mr kiw. another laments how misfortunate mr kiw was to have chosen the evil role to play on the stage of school and could only shake his head in helplessness at the students' hatred and curses. believe it or not, i was crying by then.

after reading a few more letters, mr sng's emotions got the better of him, and he cried.

that wasn't surprising since mr sng was once a dunmanian after all, and he understands mr kiw's kind intentions more than any of us. although i haven't been taught by mr kiw at all, and had even been caught for my fringe, i sincerely appreciated his teachings during flag-raising -- how we should bring pride to our school by having both appropriate attire and behaviour, why we should abide by the school rules, etc. -- and it's even more saddening to see some other members [when i say members, i refer not only to students] of the school basking in happiness at mr kiw's departure.

well. thank god for the last part of the speech. after mr sng's plead, mr kiw agreed to carry on teaching higher chinese in dunman high, but of course he would step down from being discipline master ): i hope this would help slow down the corruption of the school staff committee, and prevent the students from going chaos.

hm. when i finally got back to class after going for the SAP scholarship briefing, mdm lim was collecting the streaming option form. i chose biology-chemistry combination with history. then i rushed to get people sign my autograph book.

during recess, those with cameras and camera-phones started taking pictures. the nice nice boys didn't hesitate to pose with us (:

after that, i had an errand to run and hence, went downstairs. classes were dedicating songs in the canteen and touching melodies sounded through the entire place. tears were running down everywhere too. and i saw the class photo we took on mid-autumn festival on the board in the canteen again. i didn't want to get all emotional again, so i rushed back to class.

back in class, it was cleaning up time. after cleaning, yuntong, yaolu and me ran to the staff room to get the chinese compositions we wrote based on 2d back from wu lao shi. after that, we distributed them randomly to the class and asked them to take someone else's composition to read.

at first, it was hard to get the sentiments across but once we sang peng you together, tears started rolling.. and we sang again. then we hugged. and we started cheering with muffled voices from the girls and strong ones from the boys.

2d kemama -- ole ole ah ah
2d kemama -- ole ole ah ah shake it up -- yeah
shake it up -- yeah
go... 2d!!

2d oi -- oi
2d oi -- oi
2d 2d -- sud sud oi!!

everywhere we go x2
people want to know x2
who we are x2
where we come from x2
so we tell them x2
we are from 2d x2
mighty mighty 2d x2
super duper 2d x2
when we get to heaven x2
people got to say x2
how we got to heaven x2
how we found our way x2
so we reply with a little bit of anger x2
we found our way with the mighty 2d x2
hey hey what you see now x2
2d 2d on the way now x2
go... 2d!! x2

thunder thunder thunderation
we the 2d delegation
when we cheer with determination
we create a sensation!!!

etc.etc.etc.

for those who had managed to control their tears during the song, they couldn't resist it during the cheering. so there we were, cheering with tears and our love for 2d.

then, mingwei read out his composition about 2d. and chunying's one was read out by him too. they were really touching, describing the class spirit we had during the various interclass activities, and how we helped each other.

yupps, half an hour had passed after the dismissal time yet we were still reluctant to leave. we decided to let everyone take turns in saying something to the class. in between the speeches, confessions and apologies were made to each other and at that moment, 2d was united as one, to face the devil of separation.

after hugging each other all over again, those who had stayed in spite of their ccas were asked to go for their ccas, and we bade each other farewell, promising to go for the class dinner at night.

my mind went blank when it was my turn for the individual speech although i had plenty i want you all to know. i am sure this is true for everyone. i shall now add on to my speech, although the words in my heart can never be fully spelt out.

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---
firstly, my apologies.

i am sorry for closing myself up the whole of last year, giving you all the cold shoulder. i am sorry for only opening up a little halfway through this year, yet treating you all with shouts with my stress as an invalid excuse. i am sorry i did not have the ability to communicate in the proper way after i had opened up to you all fully and resulting in you all thinking that i am fierce, or that i am an arrogantbossycrudedumbo or erringfakegiant or hatefulirritatingjunkykicker or lamemessynuttyoffal or proudquark or rudesuckytea or unreasonablevainwilfulxylem or yuckyzebra.

i am sorry for not having spent enough time with 2d. i am sorry for only treasuring the times when we were bonded, and not the ones we spent in class, not realising the importance of those times too.

i am sorry for my slowness in seeing how great you people are. i am sorry for admiring other classes' unity when 2d is the most united one. i am sorry for having wished that i was in another class, blind to the fact that being in 2d is one of the most wonderful thing that could happen to me. i am sorry for cherishing you all too late. i am sorry for only loving you all now, when we are unable to tell when we are going to cheer as a class again.

i am sorry!

... ... ...

next, my thanks.

2d, thank you for having given the warmth enough to open me up. if not for you, i might be still stupidly sinking in depression.

2d, thank you for your forgiveness. i was once terrible to you but you was not calculating and accepted me.

2d, thank you for not being mindful of my faults. my infinite faults have caused much trouble yet you did not take it to heart.

2d, thank you for the precious times we spent as one. you made me realise the true value of time.

2d, thank you for the memories you have given me. i will hold them close to my heart forever.

2d, thank you for the friendships you have given me. they are the necessities for my survival.

2d, thank you for giving me the chance to be part of the puzzle. it is the greatest gift i ever received.

2d, thank you!
--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

cheryl and i went for the briefing on the ntuc cip and then went to kfc for lunch with meiyun. we met victor and george there and sat together. we talked loads and had fun. they tried to trick me with the chilli sauce but thanks to my fast reaction, i was saved (: then mingwei came with the boys' bags and zuoqi arrived too. zuoqi, meiyun, cheryl, me, george and victor went to the carpark and played volleyball. the boys rambled on about the danger the poor drivers were facing with our skills. lol.

it was the first time i went out with 2dians, yet one of the last times too.

i had never thought well of 2d boys before. but seriously, over these 2 years, they have shown that they are really great people, fun to be with and all. most importantly, they are the most gentlemanly (meaning caring, helpful and sweet) bunch i have ever seen. you all rawk (:

hm. then the group of us went to meiyun's house. they watched dvds while i wrote postcards for the class. i only finished 3. then we went to plaza singapura's pizza hut for the class dinner.

26 out of 34 of us turned up. this was the best attendance for our class gatherings. well, i am ashamed to say that it was the first time i turned up for one.

anyway, we were split up due to lack of seats. but it was still great fun. some people had curfews and had to rush home so the group of us ran in laughter to the mrt.

my stop was tampines, the second last stop of the east. it was a sad sight, seeing the 2dians in the mrt decreasing every stop, having to say -bye- every stop...

34 people in 2do5.

1 transferred to another school
bye charlotte (singapore american school)

6 going for integrated programmes in other schools.
bye zuoqi (tjc), bye weili (rgs), bye jiawen (tjc).
bye weicheng (nus high), bye clarence (tjc), bye cephas (vjc).

6 taking up SAP programme aka O level programme
junting, daphne, andy, victor, weisong, quanyi

21 taking up DHP
cheryl, grace, june, kathleen, camelia, yuntong, biyu, meiyun, sherlyn, jochebed, huiwen, yaolu, chunying, jiayao, alson, kennethkoh, eechow, mingwei, george, kennethtan, donghang

--- --- --- --- --- --- ---
charlotte: i am not blessed with the opportunity to know you better, but i can see that you are a great friend. thanks for your encouragement, your cheerfulness brings smiles to others, but do not forget to smile yourself!

junting: we have not talked much since i stopped taking the school bus, great pity! hm. you are great, at suaning people! lol. you are a great guide too. look at the bright side of things and do not drop tears easily, they are precious!

cheryl: hiya girl! you have heard it plenty of times already, i still must say this. you are such a nice kind person!! you always help others without complaints and apologise when you are not in the wrong. although i dont agree of it (you know why), only a nice noble person like you can do it! hm. thanks for the postcard and present, i enjoy having those heart-to-heart talks with you too (:

zuoqi: my fellow drama addict! it is my fault for noticing you so late, or we would have been able to crap about dramas together!! mm. i think you are a wise person, you actually know how to make people say you are nice, when you are not!! LOL. shou1 wo3 wei2 tu2 ba!

grace: we were on pretty bad terms last year thanks to me, i am sorry. but true friends take time to find each other right? hahas. i agree that our mindsets are quite similar, but that means you think too much!! better stop, or you will get white hair like me! yupps, and we are great partners for digital art! high5!

june: you are really nice and helpful, always there to lend a hand. it is sad that i dont know you that well.. sigh. keep up your smile and never let anything get you down!!

kathleen: sat behind you last year, thanks for trying to help me open up! really enjoyed the running during treasure hunt together, it was a great day for all of us. and i think you are very helpful too! nice kat!

daphne: i love your laughter!! lol. it was fun sitting behind you and meiyun this year. crapped loads, especially during the superstar period. dont quit japanese la! i will miss you loads ): yupps, and both np and sjab rawk!

camelia: heyheyhey! we are finally as close to each other as each of us is to that octopus! how can we let her enjoy the best of two worlds right? LOL. i love talking to you, cheem! hehes. you seldom get angry but when you are, it is scary!! and stop growing la, i am trying to catch up! dont you dare smirk, it is not impossible okay?! i shall continue my message on your autograph book, must clear the debt of 5 pages!

yuntong: i love you as much as you love me!! hahas. it was really great getting to know you better, and the heart-to-heart talks especially. our friendship was full of twists and turns, but still ended up fine because of your treat-as-if-nothing-happened attitude! i dont know whether it is a good thing, but i feel so bu4 fu2 qi4! lol. thanks for trusting me, i will miss your crapping loads!

biyu: another person i dont know well! i only know that you love green ): yupps, and also that you are an english pro which is undeniable! i seem to have an affinity with you, always seeing you outside school, and you are always wearing yellow when i see you!

weili: you cutie cutie pie!! i am gonna get killed for it! lol. only got to know you better during post-examination period. and i already found you so cute! i still dont understand why you love rgs so much. grr. dunman high rawks more! i am gonna miss you lots! and you are very welcome for the apple pie (:

meiyun: dense kia! hello, i am not as dense as you la! haha. sat behind you for two years, are we considered close? average ba. if we get into the same class next year.. ohman. what if i get as dense as you?! okie, just kidding. dont moo! mm. and you are very very stubborn! dont listen to my advice! they are golden words okay? must cherish friendships!

sherlyn: you biased biased lao3 tou2! i so nice to you also never appreciate, humph! and you are stubborn too, i still have the long sms-es when we argued over the appeal! i really hope that we can be in the same class next year.. so that we can suan each other more (:

jochebed: ... hm. i still havent gotten over it. never mind. i truly enjoyed the times we had together, crapping, arguing, etc. especially last year, post-examination period, our betting of marks. you were once a best friend to me, always there to encourage and smile. hope i see that jochebed again.

yaolu: midori!! later appeal then different class how? nono i am just scaring you! that will never come true, touch wood! we have managed to become closest friends despite our contrasting characters, i still find that a miracle now. all the times we had together, they are indescribable. we will continue our journey together!

chunying: talked to you really little in class. in my eyes, you are a mature person who takes things in her stride. hope you keep up that attitude and excel in everything you do!

jiawen: AHH WEIJIAN!! lol. only got to know you better nowadays and you have to leave already.. so cruel of you! i love talking to you about all kinda stuff, including not-very-nice-to-say ones, hehes. must sms me when you go tjc okay? i will flood your inbox! and if got weijian de concert, we chiong there together!!

andy: you are a fantastic monitor. i am serious, although you always distribute bread for them to eat in class. LOL. you are responsible in your work and manage tasks well. gentlemanly and nice too. did i bully you? hope you didnt mind, i didnt mean it!! score 11 A1s for O levels and dont get bullied again!

jiayao: irritating! CLEVER BIG DEAL AH?! i smart better okay? or is clever the better one? shucks cant remember.. anyway, just you wait, i am sure i can score better than you one day! bu2 yao4 tai4 xiao1 zhang1!

victor: always suaning me.. but you are still quite nice la, always help us in maths, thanks a lot! all the best in O levels and your pursuance! must touch her with sincerity! mm. and work harder for japanese la! always slack..

weicheng: hated you at first. but realised that you are actually pretty nice. because you ran to camelia's house for the poles remember? and when people talk to you nicely, your attitude is not that bad.. always crap though. good luck!

alson: the most helpful one and best keeper of the level! you have been really enthusiastic in class, always organising gatherings, thanks so much! and we can all see how hardworking you have been, i am sure your efforts will pay off (:

kenneth koh: never really talk to you, only scold you for eating in class. haha. hope you didnt mind! find you a quite nice person, clever and hardworking too. all the best in all you do, i am sure you can excel in your academic results!

clarence: we are always fighting verbally!! LOL. although you very very irresponsible (for playing LAN when you are supposed to be making a lantern), you did put in your best for the class t-shirts. yupps, and i find you quite nice because you dont take things to heart. jiayou in tjc and buck up for chinese!

eechow: we only started to talk a little after the exams.. always see your group of people after school at the mrt. haha. mm. you are quite clever too, work harder and you will excel in your studies! good luck for the SAP scholarship!

mingwei: hao3 hao3 xian1 sheng! you did us proud for interclass! although you only joined our class this year, everyone gets along with you very well and find you really nice and humble! jiayou and hope you do well for english (:

george: feel bad that you find me fierce.. haha. i thought i was nice to you lohs. anyway, thanku for chilling our class during lessons! although you very lame, you are really nice! good luck for band and your studies, especially higher chinese!

cephas: hated you at first too, haha. but found you a nice guy gradually. it is really sad that you have been forced to leave for vjc but i think it is a better path for you too. work harder and dont get caught for misbehaving again! everyone will miss you a lot for your chatter (:

kenneth tan: another one who always suan me.. remember your promise okay! yupps, find you quite irritating at times. do come down for our gatherings la! and good luck for badminton and studies!

weisong: you always take advantage that wo3 men2 teng2 ni3! humph. they cant see your evil side i can okay! although still find you very very cute.. haha. you smartie always complaining about your marks, sickening! my cute squadmate, grow taller and jiayou for everything!

donghang: never talk to you much but heard that you are a fun person.. i am glad that you came for the 2d outing, you felt embarrassed with meiyun and me right, sorry! be more enthusiastic and good luck for studies!

quanyi: mr know-it-all! always dont tell me gossips, irritating. i am sure i will know more than you one day! and stop being depressed! mm. i dao you sometimes because you always crap mahs, sorry sorry!! dont slack, must work hard for studies, especially chinese!
--- --- --- --- --- --- ---

34 of us chose different roads to walk down the path of life, and thus we have to bid farewell at this point. true, we will still be together as one in each and every one of our hearts. but who can deny that nothing will be the same again?

no more chionging for flag-raising as a class, no more chit-chatting during lessons, no more kupping answers from behind, no more secrets sharing, no more lame jokes to chill the class, no more laughing at each other's stupidity, no more going crazy over hohweijian together, no more suaning each other, no more running for treasure hunt, no more making mooncakes together, no more beaming in honour for 2do5, no more cheering for interclass, no more getting caught by mr kiw as a class, no more mdm lim's naggings, no more 2do5..

despite the many no-mores, blahblahblah. yes, i would like to have a continuation to this sentence. but i cant think of any that can satisfy me. i am sorry, i am neither brave nor optimistic. i have been failed before. only once, but that was enough. i can only cling onto the memories tightly and dream of the times we had, thats all. we can never do things as a class again.

but i promise that my love for 2d will never change.

| together on.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
-----------------------------------